I tolerate a lot in the world and being in a country not of my origin keeps me more tolerant than in my past. Yesterday though something happened that exceeded my limitations and I saw red for the first time in Russia. Seeing red is the ultimate stage of being pissed off for me and that is detrimental to any situation…
Sveat and I were walking to the market. It was a beautiful day and we needed to stock up on veggies and fruits. This time of the year produce is cheap and plentiful. So we were just strolling along minding our own business when something caught the corner of my eye in the bushes and trees off to our left. A man had knock a woman to the ground by slugging her and then proceeded to kick her across the head…
This was a common sight back in America in the inner cities, but this was the first time I had come across it in Russia. Needless to say I was raised that you never hit a woman no matter what the circumstances. I realized that this was a carbon copy of what I was use to in America. It was either a pimp beating down one of his girls or a drug dealer beating down one of his clients…
I am very tolerant of things in life but when I watched this man kick this woman across the head and she was screaming bloody murder. About a hundred deep set memories from a time past exploded. All I saw was one of my men kicking to death a human that simply was just that, a human that deserved better in life…
Time stopped and I transversed the space between us and them and when time restarted, I exploded in a rage. I have not expressed rage in a long time. I know four men right now, that wish that they had never met me. They were sick disgusting individuals that reminded me of so many back home. Just lost, worthless burned out souls, that have no morals in life…
I realized after it was over, that inside of me is a bottled up person that keeps the past hidden from view. I have seen so many innocent people abused by other people who look down upon them. Then I wonder what has happened to humans. We are suppose to be getting better but it seems that all in all, we just stay the same…
I looked through an old photo albums that I have and found a few pictures of my past…
I shake my head in dismantlement at the fact that we have not progressed at all in my life time. In fact it seems that we are getting worse. I found a picture of me standing next to a Lance Missile. A nuclear tipped missile and a tear came to my eye with he realization of what I was at one time. I thank God that I decimated that past by coming to Russia…
So today I struggle with my inner demons…
It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell… (Buddha)
Kyle Keeton
Windows to Russia!