Don’t go visiting without a gift:
Going to someones flat for dinner and waltzing in without even a single flower as a token of appreciation is not a good thing to do. Take candy, toys for the kids, bottle of wine and or just plain anything will do as a gift. It is the thought that counts, not the expense, quantity or quality. Just take something as a gift! The host has spent many hours making food and using, most likely a months worth of money to please you. Having a guest is extremely important to a Russian and they put on the best show they can, for any guest. For you to walk in empty handed is a insult to all their hard work…
Now the next thing fits in with the first thing above…
Take those shoes off and use the slippers offered:
When you enter the flat after walking the streets of the town you are in. Take those shoes off! You do not act like a barbarian and walk around the flat with dirty snow and mud crusted shoes. 90% of the time there is an abundance of slippers to wear, but if you are like me and have size 50 Russian shoes (size 15 American). No one has slippers for you and you just bring your own or wear your socks. Now a Russian will not complain to you if you act like a typical American barbarian and leave your shoes on, but you will be alone in the act as you traipse snow all over their house and make them silently grimace as you do it. Besides a Russian has very expensive Persian rugs all over the place…
Now lets say we are going out with a Russian woman for the first time?
Pay for the date with a Russian woman:
Okay I know that western women are all about equal rights and all that bull, but you better be prepared to pay for that meal, movies and what ever all else you are going to do. That Russian woman has no intention of paying and most likely will not have any money on her – anyway. She knows you will pay and that is that. So do not even think that “Going Dutch” is the way it is all over they world. The Russian woman expects you to be a gentleman and do all those gentleman things that you have forgotten about or were never taught in the first place. Yes you! You barbarian… 🙂
Then there is that terrible time that you just can not stop that body function…
Don’t burp or fart in public but if you do:
Farting or Burping in public is taboo, but if you do by accident (We all do!). Then what is even more taboo is to say, “Excuse me!” In fact bringing attention to what you just did, is probably the worse thing you can do and acting like you did not do it and acting like you do not smell it, is the best thing you can do. Russians dislike having body function issues brought to the forefront. So burp and forget it…
Last but not least, remember Mom is sacred…
Don’t joke about any family even your own:
Russians do not understand being politically correct. So telling jokes based on ethnicity, appearance, or gender stereotypes (such as being gay and lesbian) is a good way to make everyone smile and laugh. Politically correct jokes make a Russian frown as to how dumb you are! Just two areas of taboo that you definitely need to steer clear of. Do not joke about somebody’s mother, father and or any family for that matter (Even your own family!). Nor tell jokes about the Orthodox Church (Or any church for that matter!). You won’t be understood and you will be the only one laughing to a room of silent listeners…
Post by Kyle Keeton
Windows to Russia…