Maybe…
I woke this morning at 3:30 a.m. and felt like a freight train had run over me. I had a bad night and it seemed to be a bad morning. A morning of trying to figure out what caused me to feel this way. I walked Boza and he was doing good, he felt fine. George the birdbrain was singing and chasing other birds from his yard and even Ralph the Raven was sitting in our birch trees watching us and wondering if Boza wanted to play…
I spend 60% of my life in extreme pain. It comes from many directions, but in the Tiny Russian Village, the pain is much less than in a place like Moscow. I could cover it up with pills, but refuse to do that, unless it becomes debilitating and causes me to not even be able to walk or breath. This morning that pain had caught me during the night, invaded my dreams and woke me with its tentacles of torment. Getting up is easy after a night like that. For anything, even a knife through the back is better than sleep with a knife lacerating in the dreams…
I sipped a cup of coffee at my stump seats and table area. Boza rolled around in the grass and Ralph swooped several times to get Boza going. Boza then ran around the yard and chased Ralph. I let Boza run outside the gates. Boza finally laid down next to me and fell asleep and Ralph left to find new games. George chased a chickadee over the roof of the house and all was quiet and peaceful. I had checked my blood sugar and it was 5.7 mmol/l or in American standards; 102.6 mg/dl. Blood pressure was 111/58. Heart rate was high at 81 bpm. Oxygen percent was 97% to 98% and it confirmed my heart rate bpm…
So all was a-okay. I was not going to die from the basics at least…
Then I weeded the garden; and fought a huge horsefly. I use the hate word for horseflies. They are demons of the worse kind and are wicked and evil. They seem to love me, more than anyone else. Deer flies are next in line…
I was about to give up weeding, because this horsefly would land on the potatoes and wait till I turned my back. Then attack. It got to the point of terrible and something out of the blue saved me…
George had been watching, as he always does and unbeknownst to me he was sitting in the apple trees. After about 10 minutes of war with the horsefly, I stood up to leave. I was bit three times and could not get him. Then George, swooped in, tore a stalk off a potato plant, by accident, and grabbed a fat, bloodsucking vampire of a horsefly, with death in its eyes, off the ground, as it tried to right itself and fly away. He had waited until the horsefly was watching me and pounced. He then sat on a fence post nearby and beat the head of the horsefly onto the top of it. Soon the buzz quit and I was at peace. George was happy and ate a horsefly…
I worked another 15 minutes and thought about what happened…
* * * * * * * * * *
George is a friend. He is not just a bird, he is a friend from his birth. He is a friend to Boza, me and watches constantly. He seems to have an attachment to Boza and I. George has to eat and at the same time, he would not have eaten that horsefly unless he was always around. I am really not sure if a horsefly is a normal food for him. They really do not hang around for a bird to eat them and the chickadees and sparrows could careless about them. George is a predator and after watching what was going on. Took advantage of the situation and whooped horsefly ass….It helped me and the broken potato plant limb was no big deal. George can eat all the horseflies he wants…
Then I thought about Boza; Boza is a friend. A friend that lays on top of me when I am sick. (He thinks is helps!) A friend that walks for hours if I want. A friend who would lay his life down if I was attacked. Boza is always watching and doing the best he can to be part of life with me…
Then I thought about Svetochka; Sveta is a friend, the best friend I have. She went to the Moscow Film Festival in Moscow and watched two movies yesterday. I am happy for her to do that. I kind of wish I could be there to see the movies, but she happily tells me all about her movies she watched and the Film Fest is a great place to see movies from all over the world. She was happiest about a Korean movie she had watched…
I realized that Sveta and Boza are the main reasons that I try to watch my health. They are worth living for, even if me, myself and I is not enough to live for. I am, but they ice the cake…
* * * * * * * * * *
I fixed breakfast half way through this article. I realized that my blood sugar was dropping like a rock in a lake and I was shaking and getting a bad headache. I have to watch closely and be careful…
I fried two eggs, fried two pieces of fake crab meat, sliced two pieces of cheese and rolled them up in two flour tortillas. Salt, pepper and a wonderful mushroom sauce rounded them out and I hope that solves the sugar issue for awhile…
Yummy…
* * * * * * * * * *
Then I started to, “Wonder what life is about?”
It is a question we should all ask ourselves!
Is life a bowl of cherries or is it a never ending saga of mishaps? Or maybe something between?
I have to think about this, for life is an interesting situation and we are such a small significance to the Universe as a whole. I ask myself many times, “Why are we who we are? Why are we here? What good are we doing? Is there something after death?”
I will be back with this thinking…
WtR