Apply this chart to whatever your demon is!
I woke with sugar levels at 5.3 mmol/l, No sugar pills for two days. Last night was the withdraw night! I checked my vitals constantly and found everything was good. But I fought the worst demon that I ever fought! Don’t ever let anyone tell you that medicine, any medicine is not addictive. Maybe withdraw from most will not kill you…
I have found the least suspected pills are the hardest to drop…
I have quit smoking, quit anti-depressants, stopped drinking and many other happenings do do with life have been stopped. But last night was the peak of the crap in my life…
When you reach a point and I have reached that point weeks ago, you have to gather your courage and just do it! Last night, even though I was confused about what was happening and tried to blame everything but the truth, I finally washed out of my system all the remains of sugar pills. It had to happen and my body was jumped started to deal with sugar problems on its own and the pills had become a demon around my neck…
Yesterdays article was a forerunner to this day. That is the way I am; I talk about many things days behind what is happening and that is to sort things in my mind. I plan on living a long time and demons such as pills and others, have no place in my life…
I even for one of the first times had to call Svetochka in the middle of the night. She thought I was working too hard and yes, she was correct, it was work that kept me driving forward to the end goal. I had withdrawal all day yesterday and last night it reached its apogee. Dreams of death (mine and others,) feet went totally numb, hands numb, confused (more than normal,) cold sweats, restlessness and the worst; anxiety at a level to rival wanting to end it all. Svetochka does not understand, she takes nothing, for she is lucky, but she helped me in the best way and once she re-grounded me by talking to me in the night. I knew it would be alright. I owe a world to Svetochka and she has helped me get my life back…
This morning, in fact right now, I am taking my morning pills. At one time I took 24 pills just in the morning. Today I take two! Yes, two! Two pills that I may never be able to stop taking? One is a cardiac aspirin and the other is a long acting nitro! These pills are what keeps my heart going and my blood pumping…
I can live with that…
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- Kitty watching Boza, but Boza?
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- The valley
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- walking into the valley
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- Looking back…
Walked with Boza this morning and it was more than beautiful. Life was perfect, the fog was inviting and the air so clean and crisp that you could just not get enough deep breaths of it. Mamma Eagle was fishing and screaming her yells of terror and when she had a huge Carp, she flew home to have breakfast…
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Everything I do is for a purpose!
I am a deep thinker and I have to work at things at my pace. Your pace is no good for me. I have to do it my way, or else fail. Thus, this blog has been a growing experience for many years. I have gone through many changes during this blog and I now call the blog phase; My Diary Phase! (With some occasional thoughts about stupidity in the world!)
Life is winning the battle against demons…
We all have them…
WtR