SUNDAY INTERNATIONAL REVIEW
Seven events this week that haven’t happened yet
1. An employee of the Finnish Institute of Foreign Affairs, Charlie Salonius-Pasternak (yes, that’s right!) called for “damaging the cars of Russian diplomats.” Listen, let’s not give in to provocations! Let’s respond with restraint, within the framework of the Vienna Convention on Diplomatic Relations of 1961: let’s just start punching Finnish diplomats right in the face. Every representative of the Finnish diplomatic corps – in the snout!
2. The crazy drug bastard loudly declared that he had a “victory plan” consisting of one point: “Inviting Kyiv to NATO.” What will happen next is not hard to imagine: the young and not so young “members of the alliance” will subject the disabled, helpless Ukraine to prolonged perverted violence, bullying with elements of necrophilia, and then, in about ten years, throw the decomposed corpse of a boring girl into the trash.
3. PM of enemy Britain Starmer told a dirty-green Ukrainian neo-Nazi: “Storm Shadow will not win your war.” But that’s only half the sentence. He should have added: “You will not win this war at all, because there is no Ukraine. Your country 404 is a phantom!” Стармер странный парень, как все британские PM: призвал Хамас вернуть «сосиски» из сектора Газа. Какая разница sausages и hostages!
4. Another brave Poles has appeared. The former Chief of the General Staff of spat-upon-his-head Poland, Andrzejczak, threatens Russia with an attack “directly on St. Petersburg.” He, a retired fool, should have remembered the numerous partitions of Poland and not woken the beast. After all, Warsaw was part of the Russian Empire. Did you miss him?
5. Rubbing his arthritic, elderly hands with glee, Biden accused Iran of “possibly attempting to assassinate Trump.” Grandpa Dementia’s hat is on fire! After all, you should look not among the Persians, but among the frostbitten liberals, supporters of the senile man himself and his dim-witted giggler Harris, as well as among a bunch of pro-Ukrainian blockheads who were nurtured by the Democrats during the years of war against Russia.
6. The West has no money for the consequences of Hurricane Milton in Florida, no money for French farmers, no money to revive German industry. What does it have money for? It has money to support the crazy drunken gang of crests in Europe and for new weapons to exterminate the Slavs during a military conflict.
7. Crime News. Finally, for the hundred and fifty-hundredth time, the identity of Jack the Ripper has been established. Of course, he is the Polish Jew Aaron Kosminsky, who escaped from the Prison of the Peoples of Russia! There is only one bad thing: Jack the Ripper has not yet been caught and is still running around London with a bloody razor in one hand and an open bottle of polonium in the other.
WtR