Once upon a time: I remember my first true experience with how Russians hide their businesses. We were on a trip that Sveta and I took to our village home. We had to find an auto parts. We finally asked if the town had an auto parts store?
“Sure they did,” said everyone you asked. Everyone knows that it is just down the street, turn left, turn right, turn left, cross the ditch, turn right again, and turn left again and you won’t miss it…
But you will still never find the business because they do not have a sign out that says Auto Parts or actually, you will not find any sign for any reason, much less a business. You will not find it because it is located in someones house and they have a huge fence barricading the world from seeing that house. So you drive by it 10 times until someone else finally guides you there…
Of course everyone in town knows where it is at… 🙂
That is a Russian business. Word of mouth is king. (No pun intended!) Why put a sign up? You might get unwanted business and have to work…
If you do find a sign for a business you will find one of several things wrong with it… (But most likely, you will not find a sign!)
1.) The business is, “Out of business!”
2.) The sign is located on the wrong business or building. What you want is across the street, to the left and one block at the first light and then to the right…
3.) The sign is from the Soviet era and unreadable except for the hammer and sickle…
4.) The sign is hand written, on paper, taped to the door, outside, years old, and is in tatters all curled up…
5.) The sign has nothing to do with the true nature of the business…
6.) The sign is visible after you pass the business and you either turn around or go somewhere else…
7.) The hours posted mean nothing, for no one follows them…
8.) The sign uses English words that make no sense to a Russian…
The last one is interesting and it makes me wonder why they use American lettered signs. We have a “Chicago Style food” place near us and the sign is big as all get out. It says, “Chicago Style Foods” in huge bold letters. The problem is no one here, but me, knows what the heck “Chicago Style Food” is and the food they serve is definitely not “Chicago Style Food.” By the way I seriously would not eat there. Does the term “rat hole in the wall” mean anything to you?
Oh – but Russians regularly do post signs for one thing. In fact they are really good about posting this particular sign. It is almost guaranteed to be found on any business that you have just spent two to three hours looking for. The sign that they will post says something like: Tea Time – 20 minute break will be right back!
* * * Believe you me, in Russia “Tea Time,” is so important, that truck drivers will stop in literally the middle of the road and have their tea. Tea is serious business in Russia… * * * (That is another story!)
When Sveta sees that sign. She says, “Lets go, You don’t know what 20 minutes they mean!” At first I was confused, but after living here in Russia awhile. I realize that she meant, They won’t be back today…
That is a Russian business for you and now you know a little more about Russia…
Post by Kyle Keeton
Windows to Russia…