Once again it is that time of the year to make Sveta have happy thoughts. I came to Russia and found a society that does not make pumpkin pies. They eat tons of pumpkins, but using as a dessert is not in that list. I tried it out on Sveta years ago and she fell in love with “Pumpkin Pie…”
Therefore I moved the recipe forward to this year and it is exactly the pie I will make Sveta this year, before I go to the village…
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Sveta goes crazy over my pumpkin pie recipe that I use to produce a sweet, rich, fattening and waist expanding pie for Thanksgiving. I have a million recipes, as I am a chef by trade, on top of many other things. Some people call me a “Jack of All Trades” or as I say, “Don’t call me late for dinner!”
So today this ex-chef will tell you his secrete Pumpkin Pie recipe and really it is not secrete, as it is made all over by thousands every year. As I am a little bit of this and a little bit of that person, I will do the best I can to give portions. But cooking is an art and you have to have imagination to cook properly, the best cooks can see the finished product as they make it…
One day I will have to tell you about when my crew made pumpkin pie for 10,000 people and this is the recipe that was used…
Lets get your imagination going and make a Pumpkin Pie…
Ingredients:
First – find a real pumpkin that will yield about 500 grams of raw pumpkin, once peeled, cleaned and cut up…
Second – make sure you have nutmeg, cinnamon and ginger all in a ground up form…
Third – grab a can of sweet condensed milk from the store, small can…
Fourth – make sure that you have three fresh eggs in the egg carton…
Fifth – when you are at the store grabbing sweet condensed milk, grab a box of gram crackers…
Sixth – make sure you have a block of real butter… (I said butter, not margarine!)
Extra: Oh! Don’t forget the whip cream…
Lets make Pumpkin Pie:
Cook the cut up raw pumpkin in boiling water until a fork stuck in the biggest piece, slides away if you stab and lift. Drain the cooked pumpkin in a hand held colander and do not worry about the pumpkin crumbling, for it will be mushed to death…
Put cooked pumpkin warm in a mixing bowl…
Add can of sweet condensed milk and three eggs, no shells please…
Mix by hand, by hand, no – by hand – please. That’s it. Now that was the easy part…
This is the hard part and you have to be able to see the end results. Take some ground cinnamon and add it to the mixing bowl. Smells good huh? Not enough cinnamon, so add some more. Little more! Okay that is good. Mix well…
Now do the same as above with the nutmeg. No, just a little more nutmeg. That is good, now mix…
Now add some ginger, that is enough, good job…
Now stir until your arm hurts and stir with the other hand until that arm hurts. That is about 5 minutes for the average human, it helps to watch TV as you stir the pumpkin pie filling until creamy…
See that was not so hard…
It is crust time: Take a bunch of gram crackers (or as I have to do in Russia, I find a ginger based cookie.), crush them up in a mixing bowl. I let the pumpkin mix sit for half an hour before I start the crust stage. Allow the filling to blend…
Melt a blob of butter. Good grief! Melt more than that. Yes the butter will not kill you, the sweet condensed milk may, but not real butter. Pour the melted butter in the gram cracker crumbs. Mix well..
Take a square or rectangle or circular or triangle non sick oven pan. Or better yet, grab that glass baking dish that you lost in the back of the cupboard and use it. Non-stick or not, use a little grease or spay to make things happy. Dump the crust in the bottom and use your hands, smash that stuff flat. Compress it evenly across the bottom…
Then pour and scrape all of the pumpkin mix into the pan with the crust. Sorry don’t lick the bowl. It has raw eggs in it! Oh I guess I should have said something earlier, for I think you already tasted the filling 5 times so far… 🙂
Now let the pie sit and start the oven. No, let the pie sit for the 15 minutes to preheat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Then as you put the pie in the oven, turn it to 300 degrees Fahrenheit, bottom heat only and go watch your favorite TV show for a half hour…
After your show is done, check the pie. Take a knife and stick it in the middle. Is it wet? I know it is and you just licked the knife and said yummy! Don’t do that anymore and I promise not to tell this time…
Clean you dishes that you messed up making a pie and stick the knife once again into the center, different spot please! Still wet, but getting kinda hard? Few more minutes…
Third time is the charm, unless you are just sticking the knife in every 5 minutes to taste the pie. Then you have personal issues and will most likely eat the pie and never tell anyone that you made a pumpkin pie. Though they will smell it as they come home and sniff the air in the house…
So it should be done by now and it has been about 45 to 55 minutes…
Let it cool and eat… (With the family!)
Hold up and wait: If you eat all the pie before anyone gets home, you will be in trouble. The odor of the pie lingers for days and anyone coming in from outside will know that pumpkin pie is in the house. I suggest making two pies (Just double everything!) and that way you are covered in case you lose control. But they will know you made two pies, because you will be ill from eating all the first pie…
Believe me! Your family will love this pie and it really is that simple to make a pumpkin pie. But then you could always buy one from the store, thaw it out and act like you made it…
Yes, I know you would eat that one too. Better buy two pies just in case…
Posted by Kyle Keeton
Windows to Russia…
Sorry Europe; but the day you put sanctions on Russia the world started to change a lot quicker than it would have normally. You wanted to punish Russia for something you did and caused, but Russia started to build a new world order with the help of others around them. The issue is that you (Europe) are staying out this new world and for each second you delay in joining. It gets twice as hard to catch up…
