Good Ole Midwestern Gullywasher yesterday at TRV…

For us here in the Tiny Russian Village, it got so hot yesterday!

How hot did it get?

The Horseflies & Deerflies had little umbrella hats on to shade them while they tried to drain humans and other living things of their life blood. The mosquitoes just stayed home in front of the fan…

Okay it only hit 32 C., yet for here in Russia at TRV, that is hot baby, Hot!

Then, as I sat and sipped a nice cold drink of water from the fridge, a horsefly went screaming by, screaming, “Run, I tell you run!”

So I got up from my bench, where I was working on a project and sniffed the air. Then looked to the east and the biggest, ugliest black cloud was billowing and swirling like the devil himself was riding the storm of Armageddon…

I said to myself, “Self! That there is one nasty looking evil cloud and now it just became an anvil-head!”

Then I said to myself, “East? Storms don’t come from the east here?”

Then as I contemplated about life for a second, the flashes of Gullywashers in my life in the Midwest of the USA became predominant and I decided, after a mosquito went by screaming about death from above and my sparrow monkey bird was busy nail wood boards over the door and windows of her home…that I best get it in gear!

Therefore, taking the warnings of the horseflies screaming around and in a panic, I put everything up, sealed the windows, closed the doors and went and made a meal to sit and watch the end of times. Three small sandwiches of ham and cheese, plus a cup of diet coke…

Then, the devil rode by and grinned at me and it started to rain, wind whipped the trees in a twirling fashion and I sat ate my meal sitting on the steps of our porch. Heard snap snap as trees broke. Heard help help as birds, flies and aardvarks flew through the air and at one point soaked to to skin was trying to hold the house down from being swept away. But I ate first and I have to tell you…

That was a damn fine meal. A slice of bread, a slice of ham, a slice of cheese and a diet coke. Meal made in heaven as the air cooled and the rain watered everything. Except, the devil wanted more. Then he came back and decided that we needed more fun and that is when the storm really started…

I donned rubber boots and just my skivvies and proceeded to start dragging parts of trees, out of the way of the other parts of trees falling. Was running out of room for trees to fall and I made room. Nice way to shower also. The lightning flashed, forget about counting to see how far away it was, it was and well it was. Flash – Crack – and I dragged trees out of the way…

The goat trail of a road we call a highway was a river and I saw some little boats with Chickadees white watering down the road. They were whooping and hollering at the fun. It is all good and those Chickadees had the right idea. Enjoy life even if it kills you…

Then the fun stopped…

The hail from hell came and well, that hurt the noggin, I got under a tree and the Chickadees dragged their boats under the tree with me. The sparrow was watching a movie and laughing at us, for her home was boarded up and never did see the  aardvarks that flew by again, but I saw a Hedgehog and he was really grumpy and his rubber boots were full of water. So I helped him and we took off the boots and drained them, dried his little feet and put his boots back on. Off he went, still grumpy…

The lightening had stopped while the hail smashed my noggin and I have to tell you that that hurts. But while under the tree the lightening started again and everyone there with me realized that hail or not we better get away from the tree. So my noggin got knocked some more and I made it to the porch. I decided that a cookie was in order for the occasion. I then sat ans sipped some diet coke and ate a delicious cookie. That seem to upset the devil?

Therefore, he stared down at me as I smiled at that cookie and he decided to toss the wind the opposite direction. Other words, right into my face as I sat happily on the porch steps. I realized that I was being attacked and stuffed the cookie into my mouth and got up and slammed the door of the porch in the devils face. He pushed so much water at that door, that I swore the gullywasher was inside my porch. This means that the storm was coming from the west now and it came back just as nasty as when it came from the east…

So what didn’t break from one way? Now had another way to break in the wind…

I only take a wild gander, but maybe the devil was pissed at me for writing about him. For you see, I am sure that he is behind the hooliganism that the Western Empire is trying to do to the world. Maybe he is grouchy with me?

It all ended as it started, fast. There is only so much a mere mortal human can do and at times we need help. Then help came, It looked as if with a sweep of his mighty hand? God brushed the storm away and the devil with it…

I was at the point of hanging onto the house, to keep it from flying away and “wallah wallah bing bang”, the sun came out. Then I heard a wonderful sound. I love the gurgle of creeks and always wanted to live at a place with a creek that ran by the home. Gurgle Gurgle Gurgle…

The road near our home was a creek for now and I sat down on my bench, soaking wet and listened to the creek gurgle gurgle gurgle…

Yes, God was there at that moment…

It all happened just like that! I swear it did…

WtR

PS: I guess I better say what I mean…

My alarm clock sparrow was prominent this morning after she had already woke me at 2 a.m. with all the noise of taking the boards off her windows and door, she sat in the window and tried to wake me. I was outside already and surprised her as she stopped chirping and just looked at me, like I had horns growing out of my head…

The sun was coming up, the air was clear, clean and crisp. The little baby birds were all doing their thing, the Fat Cat was slinking around as if no one could see him and it looked like we all survived…

I guess what I mean is that life is always better after the storm. Life is good this morning and I sat on my bench, sipping coffee and listened to the orchestra of little birds signing their song of life…

It was a good morning!

A survivor of six heart attacks and a brain tumor, a grumpy bear of a man, whom has declared Russia as his new and wonderful home. His wife is a true Russian Sweet Pea of a girl and she puts up with this bear of a guy and keeps him in line. Thank God for my Sweet Pea and Russia.